The $600 Dollar Guru
A short story
By: Author unknown
The flyer on the bullitin board said:
NOTICE
EXTRAODINARY EVENT!
ALL WISHES GRANTED - $600
The Guru, Swami Beyondannanda,
on such and such a day
at Noon
in the town center park
shall grant any & all wishes
for only $600.00 per wish!!!!
or your money back,
garanteed!
YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT!
The day of the even arrived, and as the many people showed up to town center park, for all the reasons they did, the chelas (students of the Guru), were orginizing the people in to groups according to similar wishes.
As the Guru was walking through the park, he overheard one group talking, and all this group wanted was peace.
And the Guru walked up to them and said,
"All you want is peace? That's easy!!!"
And he snaped his fingers and extended his hand to them palm up in an offering manner.
One of the people in the group instantly jumped up! And in a loud angry voice shouted,
"YOU CAN'T JUST SNAP YOU FINGERS AND GIVE ME PEACE, DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT THE CORPORATIONS ARE DOING TO THE TREES IN SOUTH AMERICA?!?!?!? WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE IF IT ISN'T STOPED!!!!! I CAN'T BE AT PEACE TILL IT STOPS!"
... and the Guru motioned to one of the chelas, the mans money was returned as was promised, and he left very angry.
Another in the group voiced in bitter frustration,
"Do you have ANY CLUE what my ex-husband is doing?!?!? That dead beat hasn't paid one cent of child support EVER!
I can't be at peace untill he takes care of his responsibilities."
... and she took he refund and left bitterly frustrated.
The next man, starting calm and working up to a frenzied rage, uttered something along of the lines of,
"If only it were so easy, yet I can't be at peace while the government is enslaving the people, did you know that they have been doing thus and so for over 50+ YEARS?!!?! AND ITS ONLY GETTING WORSE!! AND THEN YOU COME HERE GIVING THE PEOPLE FALSE HOPES AND SNAPPING YOUR FINGERS AS IF THIS WILL SOLVER THE PROBELMS OF THE WORLD!! I SHOULD SNAP YOUR NECK AND BLAH BLAH BLAH."
...and he rudly snatched the money out of the chelas hand, spit on the Guru, and left even more enraged then he came!!!
... and another raged about people not paying their taxes and their "fair share"... and got his refund.
... and one who was so consumed with fear they were shaking, and wouldn't have even asked for a refund was noticed by the Guru and her refund was made without her even asking...
... and this went on... and on... and on... and finaly the last one left of the group, realizing that to be at peace is ultimatly a choice, said,
"You know what... I DO ACCEPT PEACE! Thank you! Best $600 I ever spent."
... and as he started to leave, the Guru motioned to the chela, and the man's money was returned.
A little shocked at this the man said,
"You have granted my wish as promised. Why are you giving me my money back?"
... and the Guru said,
"I can't give you peace, you already had it."
... and the man left, peaceful.
The End