Since this is a general discussion area and I am working on a paper for school, I thought I would take this opportunity to post something different.


Randy,


There is a good reason why it is hard for adults to learn how to do things like play the piano and learn to speak foreign languages.& It is called brain development.


When you are a child there are pathways formed in your brain according to continued stimuli that surrounds you.& So, if your mother were to play the piano from the time that you were in utero, and you began to play piano at a very young age, you would have a very "natural" ability to play the piano.& However, if your mother played piano and then stopped when you were a young child, your brain would "prune" those pathways as they were not being re-inforced.&


There is a very similar situation with languages.& By the time a baby is 10 months old, it will lose its ability to hear certain syllables that are in other languages if it does not hear them.& One of the studies that I read about had children with english speaking parents&exposed to the chinese language for one hour a week for the eight weeks between the ages of 8 and 10 months. As well as chinese babies exposed to the english language.& In both cases, the babies that were exposed to the other language, still had the ability at ten months to distinguish the syllables, whereas the babies that were not exposed no longer had that ability.


I must tell you that after I read about this study, I thought to myself that I was so smart that I would be able to hear the difference in the syllables.& So I listened to a tape and no matter how hard I tried, I could not hear that what the person was saying was two different syllables.& A good example of this is when we hear a peson that speaks chinese as their native tongue say lasagna, they usually say rasagna, this happens due to the explanation provided above.& It oftens make me wonder how people with a native english tongue sound when speaking foreign languages.


A very important aspect of brain development that I do a lot of research in is called attachment.& Attachment in this context refers to a persons experience as a baby between them and their main caregiver. (usually the mother).& If there is not a bond formed between baby and caregiver, the child will never learn the relationship between action and consequence.& The reason for this is because in a healthy relationship their is a "dance" that occurs.& The mother will learn to distinguish the difference in the babies cries and will respond accordingly, always having the goal in mind of making the child as comfortable as possible.& Even the actions of a mother that are kind of "gross", like kissing cute little baby feet and picking their babies nose, are all important steps in this dance.& The eye contact and words that are exchanged during all of the natural acts of caregiving is important for the babies brain.& Through these interactions as the baby grows, it will learn about feeling and empathy and that it feels good to make others happy.& These lessons will be carried throughout life and passed on to their children and so on.


If the caregiver is not a good enough caregiver and they react differently every time the baby cries, like one time the baby cries they give them a bottle, and the next time the baby is hungry it cries but the caregiver sticks it into a room so that it can't be heard, and the next time it's hungry it cries and the caregiver just yells at it, the child's mind will only learn confusion as there is no pattern to what is going on.& As they don't ever&learn&a consequence to their actions, they will not understand it when&they do something that is considered in society as "bad".You can tell them that it is bad but they won't&feel that it is bad.& Also, they will do things to create ciaos& because that is where their comfort level is, the&ciaos is what was re-enforced in their little tiny baby brains.


What I am talking about here does not happen in an average relationship, what I am referring to is negligence. In it's most severe form, it will lead to mental retardation and even death, depending on the temperament of the child.& A good example of the most severe cases are the orphanages in Russia that reached the American media a while back.& The babies there were fed but several of them had never been held and cooed at and interacted with.& That is the reason for their retardation.& It is really very sad.
<DIV>Your probably wondering at this point what can be done about this problem.& Unfortunately, there is no "cure".& Mostly there is a lot of therapy and medication.& There are a lot of different opinions at what age a child has to form an attachment by to be able to be what I have referred to as "functioning".& When I first started studying this topic, people said that if a child formed an attachment by 9 that they would be okay, then it went to 6, then it went to 3, now studies are showing that a child's attachment style and their consequential personality traits are formed by the age of four months.& It is my personal opinion that brain development begins in the womb and that the woman that is carrying the child has a responsibility to that child to not only take care of her body physically but mentally as well.& I am not saying that pregnant women have to eliminate stress all together and feel guilty when they feel down or sad.& I am saying that the baby that is being carried will develop according to the intimate feelings of the mother toward the baby, and no matter what external consequences happen during the pregnancy to effect the mothers mental state, there should always be (and mostly will always be) a desire to carry the baby.</DIV>
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<DIV>Now, please know that when I first learned this stuff I was like, well great I have already had one baby and now she is going to be messed up because I didn't know about this.& However, you all need to know this; what I have described above in a scientific sort of way, simply said is "mother nature".& Most women are made with a desire to carry children, care for them and protect them with an animalistic vengeance that can not be matched.& The dance that I referred to above so beautiful and natural.</DIV>
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<DIV>The moral of this story is that if you are reading this, chances are that you had a "good enough" relationship with your mother in order for your brains to form the right way.& So get off of this forum, pick up the phone, call your mother and tell her thanks you for kissing your feet and picking your nose.</DIV>
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<DIV>Randy, </DIV>
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<DIV>I hope you understand through my very long explanation that it is not your "teachers" fault that you did not learn how to play the piano.& </DIV>
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<DIV>Sara-Jane</DIV>
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<DIV><FONT size=1>(disclaimer, I did not make my children learn to speak Chinese before they were ten months old, I do lose my temper with them and just like any other mother, I am guilty of calling my mother and saying, "Mom will you come and get my kids, they are driving me crazy." Even these are natural and wonderful things.)</FONT></DIV>