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Things to consider
Dano , I am currently involved in a situation similar to yours, divorce/custody. The marriage license application and certificate is the basis of their actions. This is an adhesion contract with two overt parties, you and your ex, and two covert parties, the state and the feds. The marriage contract between you and your ex is a simple common law contract. By obtaining a marriage certificate you have expanded the terms of that contract to include the state and their subsequent codes and statutes. The feds are involved because you provided a SS number which is used for paternity and child support tracking, the state has a contract with the feds to impliment legislation in return for fed grants.
Under the US Constitution and your state consitution you have a common law right to a trial by jury. By obtaining a marriage certificate you have acceeded to the jurisdiction of the court which is "civil"/admiralty/statutory and essentially have waived your constitutional rights.
Under the "civil" laws/statutes the state never alleges criminal conduct since that would conflict with their jurisdiction. The body of "law" dealing with family matters allows the court to do essentially whatever it pleases based upon any number of criteria, usually at the detriment to the father. Abuse or neglect does not have to be proven only alleged.
So, your first course of action needs to be to revoke your signature on the marriage license application to remove the adhesion contract created by the state. By doing so you can challenge jurisdiction, buying yourself some time and changing the nature of the proceedings. Is it too late to extricate yourself, I don't know, but this is what's needed in order to get any semblance of justice.
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