BECOME A "CHILD ADVOCATE."

1) Get involved with a network of parent educators.

2) Make time for play dates and/or parties. Invite
parent-chaperones who will observe you as a Superdad in fine
form. Make sure mothers are invited. Ideally, they should be
solidly married, above reproach, and will not be disparaged
for having an affair with you.

These are great sources for collateral witnesses.

2) Enroll yourself and/or your kids in
classes/counseling/treatment as necessary: Parenting classes;
Co-parenting classes; Anger managment; Couseling for kids
caught-in-the-middle; enroll in a Children's First program;
Alcohol/drug treatment. Read contemporary books and
literature
on the above subject matter. Take the initiative. Become
informed. Do whatever it takes. Don't wait 'til it's too
late.

3) The most important witnesses are court-appointed
professionals, so-called "neutral third parties."
They include; the home study evaluator, the forensic
evaluator, the custody evaluator, the psychologist, the play
therapist, and the GAL. Tread lightly with these people. They
are
anything but neutral. These thugs are "GOD" in
determining custody decisions. Keep in mind, the judge is
gonna rule whatever they recommend. They live by one
fundamental principle, "Dads be damned."

Whatever you do, NEVER agree to any form of binding
mediation. You'll be giving up all your rights to further
litigation. You'd just as well sell your soul to the Devil.

From the beginning, you must "attempt" get these
witnesses on your side. They are the "tie-breaker."
Truth be known, it's their job to insure the race isn't even
close, much less a "tie." Nevertheless, do your
best. Be sure to document everything.

a) It's their job to not like you.
b) It's their job to fabricate lies about you.
c) It's their job to soften you up and trick you into giving
up custody before trial.

Remember "rebuttable presumption?" Some state's
statutes declare both fathers and mothers have an equal right
to parent their children. In this phase, that right is
summarily taken from you. In other words, the game is rigged.
It should come as no surprise, gender discrimination is rife
within the Judicial Branch of Government.

With that in mind, you might consider hiring a private
custody evaluator. The idea is to bring conflicting
opinion/testimony with you to court. This is one sure way to
minimize a GAL's highly biased testimony/report.

Additionally, make sure to get documentation/history of any
violence, both physical and/or verbal/psychological. Is your
STBX any threat to herself, to you, to your kids, or to
anyone else? Evidence of this nature is critical to rebut an
already biased GAL report/testimony.

I've heard of ONE (1) favorable recommend from a GAL. This
dad was a school teacher. He was thoroughly professional and
very well connected. Additionally he graduated with
"honors" from parenting classes and had become a
state-certified foster parent. In other words, he had
credentials the rest of us don't have or can't get. The GAL
liked this dad because he was "one of them."

In family court, the average "Joe Six-Pack" has a
90% chance of losing. That's why your journal and witness
list are of the utmost importance.

Here's another example. Risky? Hell yes! But the results are
what counts.

Both Parties agreed, together with the judge, to allow the
final custody decision to be handled by a custody evaluator.
Dad's attorney was familiar with this evaluator and requested
that she hear testimony. Stbx's attorney also agreed with the
request.

The evaluator met with both attorneys prior to taking
testimony. She strongly advised that the Parties settle ahead
of time. (Note: This is why you never agree to binding
mediation.)

At this critical moment, Dad's attorney revealed the
existence of a detailed journal together with a substantial
body of evidence. He suggested the Parties walk away with
dignity and share custodybetween them. As a result, Dad's
STBX agreed to sharing both physical and legal custody
without the evaluator deciding for them.

Dad's guess is that his attorney had spooked his STBX in
prior courtroom encounters. She gave up without a fight,
certainly not because she wanted to. Of that, Dad is sure.

The lesson here is that Dad's attorney had taken the
initiative to thoroughly study the journal well in advance.
As a result, Dad's attorney was convinced that the journal
would tip the balance in an occasion such as this.

Thus: a detailed journal + a good attorney + strategy =
Victory

There was another dad that "bought" his STBX out.
He got the house, the kids, and everything for $70K. Still
another dad got out of paying alimony for a mere $11K. I
realize this sounds like a lot all at once. But over time,
it's a bargain. Remember, let your attorney handle the
negotiating process.

MOVING ON: Your WITNESS LIST must be exhaustive. Other than
court-appointed professionals, people that see you with your
children and/or otherwise know you personally are going to be
your best witnesses. Remember, not everyone will support you,
nor will they be available when you need them.

Potential witnesses include: Extended family; neighbors; day
care, school professionals; parent volunteers; medical
professionals; adult activity leaders.