juststartingout,
My friend... you answer your own questions...
Ask your Master for help... I make no presumption about who that is...
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Would we be opening a huge can of worms by applying?
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Yes... but you obviously know this already..
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Raising unnecessary red flags (I've heard the horror stories of Social Services investigating illegally and taking children)??
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See... you DO know this already....
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Do we put those children on there so they can see we have X number of children?
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Hmmm... Why not just cut the kids up into little pieces and use them for fish bait? Problem solved !
Look... I am not here to judge you....
I just find it tough to believe you have exhausted EVERY remedy..
So, why did you even post this stuff?
Transactional Analysis teaches that everything is about getting and recieving "strokes". ie...
yes you are a good person...
yes I understand you...
yes you are thinking/doing the right thing(s)
yes you are accepted/acceptable
blah blah blah..
Are you just a sociopath looking for acceptance?
My own experience has taught me....
There is only one with the answers that you need and you will not find him here !
The "Big Guy" is trying to teach you something... and you're not getting it...
You are being asked to commit... and ELIMINATE a DUALITY within YOURSELF.
Whether it's the pride / humility tug of war...
the Santa Claus / Scrooge tug of war...
the work / home tug of war... or the...
You can only have one Master... so choose ! war.
Your ossillation boils down to a lack of Faith.. in HIM and yourself...
Which Master will you follow?
It is a NATURAL LAW... that ALL things seek an equilibrium or balance...
You have a lack... the UNIVERSE will bring you what you NEED and balance it for you... if you will only relax and allow it !
The answer you recieve may not be what your ego / pride wants to hear, and it may not arrive in a "timely fashion" based on your ego's clock, but it will be your answer none the less.
then... You alone must choose... between what Spirit tells you... and what your ego does...
I always counsel people to give 110%.....
If you give your 100% and then give a little more...
you become truely emptied !
then... five or ten years later... there is no room for remorse to creep back in... and say.. what if... what if... what if...
Shut off your five senses that create "false images" and get behind your faith and give, give, give... and ask nothing for yourself.
If you still insist on going with BB's aid... then don't tell them about the children... use the aid to feed the kids... and YOU go hungry...
Please forgive the rant.. I intended no malice...
For HIS Glory,
Akira