
08-23-2005, 01:29 PM
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Come and Get Some!
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Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,039
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Humor - Legal Arguments Aside
Found on another forum -
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriffs Deputy.He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education.
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputies expense...
Deputy says, "License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What for?"
Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign "
Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket, if not you let me go and no ticket."
Deputy says, "Exit your vehicle, sir."
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says: "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"
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08-23-2005, 02:13 PM
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Come and Get Some!
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Illinois(chi-town)
Posts: 5,076
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Hehehehehehe! Very funny.
__________________
Resolution pending
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08-23-2005, 06:26 PM
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Unplugged
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 100
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Now if that would only happen to all lawyers for no reason at all.
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08-23-2005, 06:36 PM
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Come and Get Some!
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Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,039
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As D Merrill might say, the lawyer engaged the deputy in the benefit of discussion ... and got bracketed :-)
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08-23-2005, 07:27 PM
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by palani
As D Merrill might say, the lawyer engaged the deputy in the benefit of discussion ... and got bracketed :-)
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And then some...
Henry Franklin
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09-17-2005, 05:02 AM
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Practice Makes Perfect
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 272
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More humor, no offense to our ladies intended
THE IRS AND THE COWBOY...
A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains
without water.
His horse has already died of thirst.
He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last
breath -
when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several
yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers
what looks to be an old brief case.
He opens it and out pops a genie.
But this is no ordinary genie.
She is wearing an IRS ID badge and a dull gray dress.
There's a calculator in her pocketbook.
She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.
"Well, cowboy," says the genie... "You know how I work. You have three
wishes."
"I'm not falling for this", said the cowboy. "I'm not going to trust an
IRS genie."
She smiled and said, "What do you have to lose?
You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're ! a goner
anyway!"
The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is
right.
He said, "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and
drink."
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen.
And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
The genie said, "OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."
"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams."
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with
rare gold coins and precious gems.
The genie said, "OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish.
Better make it a good one!"
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says...
"I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need
me."
***POOF***
He turned into a tampon.
The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything,
there's going to be a string attached.
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