Why do judges let it all drag out?

[steve3969]

Last month I went to court for a motion to modify custody. I was early so I observed the case before me. I was floored by what was happening to this man.

From what I heard the wife was living in the home and not making payments so the husband made payments to keep from loosing the house.

The wife was not paying the utilities so the husband did so his child could live comfortably.
the wife charged $8500 in 3 months on joint accounts.

The wife had temporary custody while the divorce proceeded. The wife interfered with visitation.

The wife was selling the husbands tools, coin collection, funiture ..... and did not give the husband his share of the money.

The wife did not make car payments of pay insurance so the husband did so to protect his credit.

The wife did not meet with the GAL on schuled appointments or return calls to the GAL.

The wife did not pay on two credit cards that was previousley agreed on.

The wife recieved child support and maintance but did not pay the house payment.

How could she be considered a fit parent when acting so irresponcibility?

Why did it take so long for this man to get a hearing?
Why did she have custody?
What did she do with all the money?
Why did she not even show up for court?
Why didnt the judge give the husband any relief other than stating the charge debt incourred from the divorce fileing would not be his responciblity.
Why did I get the impression that this man will have to put up with this behavior for several more months.
Why was the husband kicked out of his home and have to pay for it too?
Why would a judge tolorate the wife's refuesal to live up to her previous orders while the divorce continued.
In setting there I got so mad at the judge's acceptance of the wife's behavior. It appeared that it was the norm or expected behavior in a divorce. I felt that the Judge was responcible for this behavior by not ruleing swiftly decisively. Why did he not say the wife is not paying or doing her part so she is out of the house the kid lives with dad as he is acting responcibilly. The wife is in contempt of a previous order so fine her and have some weekend jail time to discourage this behavior?

Then My case came up the ex wife did not show up. The order to pay $500 for the GAL in my case is still not paid by my ex. I still pay child support for a 16 1/2 year old son that want to move in with me and it has dragged out 6 months. My ex said she can milk it for 2 years.
She missed the first mediation appointment how convienent, re schedule 3 weeks later since she has such a booked calendar..
Why does the system tolorate that defiance but If I dont pay child support I would be thrown in Jail within a week.
Can someone explain this to me?

[RICKO]

Originally Posted by steve3969

Last month I went to court for a motion to modify custody. I was early so I observed the case before me. I was floored by what was happening to this man.

From what I heard the wife was living in the home and not making payments so the husband made payments to keep from loosing the house.

The wife was not paying the utilities so the husband did so his child could live comfortably.
the wife charged $8500 in 3 months on joint accounts.

The wife had temporary custody while the divorce proceeded. The wife interfered with visitation.

The wife was selling the husbands tools, coin collection, funiture ..... and did not give the husband his share of the money.

The wife did not make car payments of pay insurance so the husband did so to protect his credit.

The wife did not meet with the GAL on schuled appointments or return calls to the GAL.

The wife did not pay on two credit cards that was previousley agreed on.

The wife recieved child support and maintance but did not pay the house payment.

How could she be considered a fit parent when acting so irresponcibility?

Why did it take so long for this man to get a hearing?
Why did she have custody?
What did she do with all the money?
Why did she not even show up for court?
Why didnt the judge give the husband any relief other than stating the charge debt incourred from the divorce fileing would not be his responciblity.
Why did I get the impression that this man will have to put up with this behavior for several more months.
Why was the husband kicked out of his home and have to pay for it too?
Why would a judge tolorate the wife's refuesal to live up to her previous orders while the divorce continued.
In setting there I got so mad at the judge's acceptance of the wife's behavior. It appeared that it was the norm or expected behavior in a divorce. I felt that the Judge was responcible for this behavior by not ruleing swiftly decisively. Why did he not say the wife is not paying or doing her part so she is out of the house the kid lives with dad as he is acting responcibilly. The wife is in contempt of a previous order so fine her and have some weekend jail time to discourage this behavior?

Then My case came up the ex wife did not show up. The order to pay $500 for the GAL in my case is still not paid by my ex. I still pay child support for a 16 1/2 year old son that want to move in with me and it has dragged out 6 months. My ex said she can milk it for 2 years.
She missed the first mediation appointment how convienent, re schedule 3 weeks later since she has such a booked calendar..
Why does the system tolorate that defiance but If I dont pay child support I would be thrown in Jail within a week.
Can someone explain this to me?

For one the courts can give a crap about what your going through. And please don't take this the wrong way but when ever you have to involve the court system in your personal problems( divource, child custody issues, etc) because you and your significant other cannot come to terms on issues dealing with money, child custody, and any other issues that may arise, you basically tell the courts " hey take the wheel, I'm not sure I can handle this". At that point you play by their rules. Unfortunatetly, marriages that go through a divorce end up in a piss match between the two. Of course the wife has the upper hand so if you piss her off forget about it. No offense to any females on this forum. It is was it is. As far as the child support payments having to be made on time, well you can thank all of the guys who do not pay child support on time.

[theghost]

Let's also not forget, the state is the third party to this marriage/divorce contract, and they (the "court") is only there to protect their interest in the contract. And, unfortunately for the man, the court views the man as the predominant breadwinner in this contract (sorry ladies, that's just the way it is), so they will always look to the man for performance. Remember, equity is brutal.

[Akira-]

What do you expect? The court sees you as a slave.

"Partus sequitur ventrem; The offspring follow the condition of the mother, this is the case of slaves and animals; but with regard to freemen, children follow the condition of the father." Bouvier's Maixms 1856

MAXIM. An established principle or proposition. A principle of law universally admitted, as being just and consonant With reason.

2. Maxims in law are somewhat like axioms in geometry. 1 Bl. Com. 68. They are principles and authorities, and part of the general customs or common law of the land; and are of the same strength as acts of parliament, when the judges have determined what is a maxim; which belongs to the judges and not the jury. Terms do Ley; Doct. & Stud. Dial. 1, c. 8. Maxims of the law are holden for law, and all other cases that may be applied to them shall be taken for granted. 1 Inst. 11. 67; 4 Rep. See 1 Com. c. 68; Plowd. 27, b.

3. The application of the maxim to the case before the court, is generally the only difficulty. The true method of making the application is to ascertain how the maxim arose, and to consider whether the case to which it is applied is of the same character, or whether it is an exception to an apparently general rule.

4. The alterations of any of the maxims of the common law are dangerous. 2 Inst. 210.


Statuatorily, it's known as the "tender age doctrine"

[RICKO]

Originally Posted by theghost

Let's also not forget, the state is the third party to this marriage/divorce contract, and they (the "court") is only there to protect their interest in the contract. And, unfortunately for the man, the court views the man as the predominant breadwinner in this contract (sorry ladies, that's just the way it is), so they will always look to the man for performance. Remember, equity is brutal.

Exactly, well put.

[ZOBOLI]

Webster Dictionary, 1913

Found 6 hit(s). Cog (Page: 273)

Cog (?), v. t. [imp. & p. p. Cogged (?); p. pr. & vb. n. Cogging.] [Cf. W. coegio to make void, to beceive, from coeg empty, vain, foolish. Cf. Coax, v. t.]

1. To seduce, or draw away, by adulation, artifice, or falsehood; to wheedle; to cozen; to cheat. [R.]

I'll . . . cog their hearts from them. Shak.

2. To obtrude or thrust in, by falsehood or deception; as, to cog in a word; to palm off. [R.]

Fustian tragedies . . . have, by concerted applauses, been cogged upon the town for masterpieces. J. Dennis

To cog a die, to load so as to direct its fall; to cheat in playing dice. Swift.

Cog (Page: 273)

Cog (?), v. i. To deceive; to cheat; to play false; to lie; to wheedle; to cajole.

For guineas in other men's breeches, Your gamesters will palm and will cog. Swift.

Cog (Page: 273)

Cog, n. A trick or deception; a falsehood. Wm. Watson.
Cog (Page: 273)

Cog, n. [Cf. Sw. kugge a cog, or W. cocos the cogs of a wheel.]

1. (Mech.) A tooth, cam, or catch for imparting or receiving motion, as on a gear wheel, or a lifter or wiper on a shaft; originally, a separate piece of wood set in a mortise in the face of a wheel.

2. (Carp.) (a) A kind of tenon on the end of a joist, received into a notch in a bearing timber, and resting flush with its upper surface. (b) A tenon in a scarf joint; a coak. Knight.

3. (Mining.) One of the rough pillars of stone or coal left to support the roof of a mine.
Cog (Page: 273)

Cog, v. t. To furnish with a cog or cogs. Cogged breath sound (Auscultation), a form of interrupted respiration, in which the interruptions are very even, three or four to each inspiration. Quain.
Cog (Page: 273)

Cog, n. [OE. cogge; cf. D. kog, Icel. kuggr Cf. **** a boat.] A small fishing boat. Ham. Nav. Encyc.