In Desperate Need of Advice

[Sophia's Daddy]

3 years ago, my wife left me for another man and said she was taking our 3 year old daughter with her out-of-state to start a new life with new 'family'. I filed for divorce then was promptly awarded full custody of our daughter. Without having to go to trial, I gave her joint custody after she signed the stipulation papers. Everything's been fine. She's stayed in town. Since the dissolution of our marriage she's had a baby, had her boyfriend at the time arrested for domestic violence, ended up marrying him, and now is in the process of divorcing him (she caught him cheating on HER). Now she wants to pack it in again and move away to Montana and start her life over again on the cheap with her new son and our daughter.

I cannot afford an attorney at this moment. What resources are there as far a consultions (pro bono) are concerned? One of the stipulations she agreed to by verbalizing AND signing in front of the judge was: Neither parent can take the child out of state without the other's written permission. Can she just take her? She claims that our daughter is better off with her mother. Mom "needs to be there when she has her period" and so on and so forth. I thought the stipulation was etched in stone?

Somebody PLEASE help me.

[Notorial dissent]

Go talk to someone at your local legal aid society, they will be able to point you in the right direction. A lot will depend on your state’s laws on the matter.

[Sophia's Daddy]

Does anybody know if (in California) you can just decide to 'change your mind' and challenge a stipulation in a signed and agreed to Court Order? Especially if the reason is 'you hate California' and 'my Mom has run out of money to give me' and so on and so forth (sigh)?

[indio007]

As far as I know either parent can't take the child out of state without consent of ...either the other parent or on judgment of a competent court. If you have a pre-existing agreement she is bound by that and so is the court that accepted it.

The bottom line she sill need you or the the court to ok. Either way it's a breach of the pre-existing contract.

[David Merrill]

Petition for a restraining order. Request the hearing with the clerk of court for the attorney (black-robed) who witnessed the agreement. Tell him or her that the ex is planning to leave the state with your son and that you cannot trust leaving him in her custody until she gives up this idea about moving away. Or she moves away without your son.

Then if she takes your son to Montana, that will be kidnapping.


Regards,

David Merrill.

[weishaupt1776]

turn the heat way up

Tell the fedsyour wife intends on kidnapping your dughter across state lines in violation of a court order

[farmer_giles_of_ham]

How about leaving your ex wife alone and let her go with the kid? What is she, your slave? Did you ask your daughter what she wants? I mean, I am all for traditional family values but that didnt happen in your case, sorry but them's the breaks. So now maybe you need to start working on your own life instead of focusing on someone elses.

Its not as though you posted for help in defense of your minor child; it sounds more like "how can I use the system to impose my will on another", which frankly just rubs me the wrong way up and down. Be a mensch and deal with your problems on your own. Godspeed.

[I am Siren]

Farmer Giles is being insensitive to your love and need to have your daughter in your life, and vice versa. It makes me wonder if he has children and if so, what kind of relationship they have.

I am no Dr. Laura, but it's true that there is not a rosy outlook for your little girl. Or her brother, poor sad little boy.

In any case, your daughter needs BOTH her parents, and I know that Dr. Laura would say that IF your ex does manage to move away, then you should follow and be there nearby for your little girl, if at all possible.

Hopefully you can get your ex to see the senselessness of leaving your home state.

Best of Luck, more dads need to care and love for their children like you do!


-- Siren

[PeteNC]

Originally Posted by farmer_giles_of_ham

How about leaving your ex wife alone and let her go with the kid? What is she, your slave? Did you ask your daughter what she wants? I mean, I am all for traditional family values but that didnt happen in your case, sorry but them's the breaks. So now maybe you need to start working on your own life instead of focusing on someone elses.

Its not as though you posted for help in defense of your minor child; it sounds more like "how can I use the system to impose my will on another", which frankly just rubs me the wrong way up and down. Be a mensch and deal with your problems on your own. Godspeed.

What a complete and utter ass. Did you even read his predicament? Do YOU have a little girl?

I do and can fully understand the position he is in. I rarely log in here since I prefer to learn prior to entering debate. However, your post demands a response. It's men like you that have allowed the system to degrade to the place it has.

All respect I had generated for you has been lost.

Good day to you.

[farmer_giles_of_ham]

What a complete and utter ass. Did you even read his predicament? Do YOU have a little girl?

I do and can fully understand the position he is in. I rarely log in here since I prefer to learn prior to entering debate. However, your post demands a response. It's men like you that have allowed the system to degrade to the place it has.

All respect I had generated for you has been lost.

See this is whats wrong with America and the West today; those who respect freedom and the integrity of others are "degraded", while those who worship the State and its hooks are, I dont know, "upright"?

Custody laws keep children and often mothers (and their loved ones) prisoners- of the police, mothers in jail for "kidnapping" their own kids, children given to sexual abusers, etc. The family court system reminds me of the Fugitive Slave Acts. Which all the nit pickers and snitches of that time surely loved and worshiped as well-'til their time came.

Freedom is a universal Right and children are as human as the rest of us. what is the arbitrary difference between one day of age and another? You want to steward and lead and husband your family- great! DO IT ALREADY. Dont call the cops, keep your wife and kids IN LINE, and handle your affairs as God intended.

Lost 'respect'? Pretty fickle, just like a chick. Man up already.

Originally Posted by siren

Farmer Giles is being insensitive to your love and need to have your daughter in your life, and vice versa. It makes me wonder if he has children and if so, what kind of relationship they have.

I am no Dr. Laura, but it's true that there is not a rosy outlook for your little girl. Or her brother, poor sad little boy.

In any case, your daughter needs BOTH her parents, and I know that Dr. Laura would say that IF your ex does manage to move away, then you should follow and be there nearby for your little girl, if at all possible.

Hopefully you can get your ex to see the senselessness of leaving your home state.

Best of Luck, more dads need to care and love for their children like you do!


-- Siren

well i am being insensitive to that part of the issue- in fact totalyl not acknowledging that part of it because this is LEGAL ISSUES FORUM, so that's what I addressed. However, you gave good advice, very sensitive, for which you are probably more suited than I, since, by your handle, you are actually a chick, which is great and we need more women's common sense. In fact, a female mediator strikes me as a good possibility for a more amicable resolution.

But that was my point- the guy doesnt want to deal with this like a human being, he wants bring in the Mafia and enforce what he couldnt when he first had the chance himself. Which in my book is totally lame and very unhealthy for the kid.

All Civil law is a restraint on trade, so to speak. family Court does way more harm than good, and if it dissappeared tomorrow we'd all be better off.

And yes, i been there and done that myslef, which is how I know.