For Single Fathers

[scooterdog]

For any single dads here, here is a little helper:

HOW DO WE SHARE THE CHILDREN IF THERE IS CURRENTLY NO COURT ORDER OR PARENTING PLAN?

Where there is no parenting plan, both the mother and father have equal rights to care for the child. Many a Father has been subject to the "whims" of the "X" as to when they can see their children. Don't put up with it! She'll only get away with this if you let her. The parent that currently does not have the child generally has a right to contact with the child even without a court order. However, this contact may have risks. Said risk is usually an extremely angry "X" resulting in domestic violence, on her part, or false allegations against you. Another problem to be aware of is the "X"'s potential to snatch the child and leave the area. While there are steps you can take to protect yourself and your child, the best protection is a court order that spells out each parent's rights and responsibilities. A parenting plan often contains certain safeguards against the "X" leaving the area. Etc. If you don't have a court order think about the following list of precautions:
1. Safety during exchanges of the children: Do not have exchanges in your home or in your presence. Have the child exchange in a neutral spot, with witnesses, if possible. Use the home of a friend, relative or a public place such as a church or a supermarket parking lot.

2. Require promptness: If the "X" is consistently late make a "big deal" about it. Give her an inch and she'll give you more problems later.

3. Notice: You should have a notice provision arranged between you so that the exchanges can be orderly. This also allows you to plan.

4. Specify the day and duration of the other parent's contact in advance.

5. Make certain you have the address and phone number of where the children will be when they are not with you. This helps to prevent the "X" from taking off without your knowledge.

6. Specify that the child should not be removed from the county.

7. Don't allow contact if the other parent is obviously under the influence of illegal drugs or is drunk. Remember this may have to be proven later in court, so don't use this on a whim. Be sure.

Wish I had known some of this at first!