Connundrum

[Phssthpok]

Primarily directed to Gregtu, but others are welcome to chime in!


A little background first so you know where I'm coming from.

I was raised Mennonite. Hard core. Barn-raisin's and everything.
Over the years life battered me pretty hard, and as a result I got torqued off at/turned away from God. The only things I associated with Church was hypocricy, pain and suffering and I wanted nothing more to do with it.

Fast forward a few years, and I'm starting to come around agian, though I'm not fully comfortable with it yet. I know He forgives me for turning away, but I'M having a hard time forgiving myself. I feel like such a hypocrite for flip-flopping. (the one thing I hate MOST in life is hypocricy as it was the root cause of most of my pain)

All this to say, that I now am starting to feel direction from God, but Ihave questions, and no one to ask. ( I STILL refuse to enter a church....it makes me physically ill.)

I know, I know... the first response is "Ask God!". My problem is that I don't trust what I'm hearing. I keep thinking that it's my own desires (or 'somebody' elses) trying to weasle their way in.

The folks here seem to have a gift....particularly Gregtu....of speaking about EXACTLY the trouble I'm having at the moment I'm having it. It's eery. Really. Like really, really creepy. as in... I just read the Psalm in HenryBowman's post just last night in an "OK God.... talk to me!" random opening of the Book.It struck me as important, but I didn't understand what He was trying to tell me. (I've been stressing about travel Doc's lately)

So now to the dilemma:

As I posted before, I'm taking steps to get out in the sticks, and live off grid. Self reliance. Homesteading and such. (kinda back to the Amish/Mennonite simplicity thing). Having taken the first steps, more and more enabling opportunities have come my way to facilitate this move. First, a free 24' travel trailer. Then a fairly cheep beginner solar setup for power. Later, a screaming (and I mean SCREAMING) deal on deep cycle batteries for said array. All of which seems like God's saying "You have my blessing in this endeavor, and I'm going to do what I can to help."

Bonus. I finally have a direction in life.
Now comes the conflict.

Some years ago a young lady captured my heart, though i refused to admit it for a long time.....even to myself. We spent time together... had long intense discussions, but she stated plainly, that she wouldn't date me. I was convinced that I didn't know what love was and I wasn't going to SAY I loved someone untill I knew for sure. I was afraid of hurting her, as I'd seen so many well intentioned, but incorrect 'I love you's' do.

When I heard she got engaged, I knew. I lost all will to live...literally. Didn't eat or sleep for three days straight.
It was, in fact, in the depths of that dispair that I finally gave up my anger and surrendered controll to God again.

The wedding never happened and we are still friends though with little contact.

Yet.... it seems lately that I'm getting prompted by God to try again.... to actively persue a more intimate (His words.. not mine) relationship with her. My problem with this is that she has previously said NO to such a relationship (and in my book, no means NO..), AND one of the things we discussed early on was her desire NOT to return to a podunk-town (grew up in Billings). She LIKED the big city and didn't want to leave. Also, she is (or was at least) of the sheeple mindset in that my desires for (and semi-active persuing of) true freedom from the Government sham are going to land me in jail someday. This is a bad thing in that she is of the 'family' mindset (something I'm not against at all) and having a husband in jail is not good.

I figured with her working swing, and myself working day shift (we met at work), there would be no point in attempting to rekindle that flame. Then.....Lo and behold...who do I see today at work? Yup.. there she is. She's on day-shift now. Great... thanks for the help God. I thought you were supposed to help make figuring things out EASIER!

Now I realize that time changes things, and it may have in fact changed her mind on both these topics. But for now I have to go with what I know (albeit from the past) and say that these two paths are diametrically opposed, and making contact in order to rekindle what we had, is tantamount (in my book anyways) to obsessing/stalking.


In summary:

If I choose the girl, then the homestead is OUT. If I choose the homestead, then I must give up hope on the girl. (The third and final possibility is too remote to even concider....that God has moved in her life as well and we're supposed to go homestead together.)


What is a person to do when God seems to be directing (with equal force) in two different directions at the same time?

Originally Posted by Phssthpok

I'M having a hard time forgiving myself. I feel like such a hypocrite for flip-flopping.

Give yourself time. (believe me, it will take time) Being God is a hard job, that's why you should let Him do it. Forget about forgiving yourself. Who put you in charge of that?

All this to say, that I now am starting to feel direction from God, but Ihave questions, and no one to ask. ( I STILL refuse to enter a church....it makes me physically ill.)

Me too bro. No worries with God. If you find a verse that says you have to enter a church building, please post it. I haven't been able to find one, and the ones I have been in have not lined up with the Word.

The folks here seem to have a gift....particularly Gregtu....of speaking about EXACTLY the trouble I'm having at the moment I'm having it. It's eery. Really. Like really, really creepy. as in... I just read the Psalm in HenryBowman's post just last night in an "OK God.... talk to me!" random opening of the Book.It struck me as important, but I didn't understand what He was trying to tell me. (I've been stressing about travel Doc's lately)

Relax. be anxious for nothing, is what the Word says. Seek the truth, and it will appear to you. I have been looking for a long time, and the light of Psalm 121 just turned on for me.

If I choose the girl, then the homestead is OUT. If I choose the homestead, then I must give up hope on the girl. (The third and final possibility is too remote to even concider....that God has moved in her life as well and we're supposed to go homestead together.)

Ahhhh, so you have put God in a box. Never, ever do that. He is truly omnipotent. My mind has been blown many times.

Pray first, act second, and accept the results. If it were me, I might have a couple beers before calling her, but I ain't suggesting you do that. (although it would relax me)

The outcome may surprise you.

One thing I would point out is that if you truly want to be off the grid, use trusts to keep your name off of any property transactions.

Henry Franklin

[Livefire]

Originally Posted by Phssthpok

In summary:

If I choose the girl, then the homestead is OUT. If I choose the homestead, then I must give up hope on the girl. (The third and final possibility is too remote to even concider....that God has moved in her life as well and we're supposed to go homestead together.)


What is a person to do when God seems to be directing (with equal force) in two different directions at the same time?

Wrong on both counts my friend.....

The Book says what God hath joinded, let no man put asunder....If He is in this, He will bring change to this woman's heart and like Rebekah of old she has already seen you from afar off and will come when beckoned without any resistance. Remember the servant of Abraham prayed first and asked for guidance, do likewise.

A couple of thoughts come to mind....

Pro 21:1 The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will

Psa 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

He also sets the solitary into families and it seems that this is His agenda at this time....dont rush this.....let Him tell you when its time. Also, dont worry about the past, you're forgiven and He's bringing you forth for such as time as this. God is bringing change and although the desires of a mans/womans heart are many, its is the Lord that directs His steps.

peace
Livefire

[Phssthpok]

Originally Posted by Livefire

He also sets the solitary into families and it seems that this is His agenda at this time....dont rush this.....let Him tell you when its time.
peace
Livefire

Therein lies my dilemma.

Seems like he's SCREAMING at me to proceed, yet I can't help but think that it's my own desires.

I'm thinking of (that story*) about (the guy*) who was told by god to hide himself in a cave untill He passed by. Thunder, wind, earthquakes, etc....then finally a slight whisper...and out he came.

The scream worries me.

*sorry...my Book is a little rusty..

[charlesa6]

Originally Posted by Phssthpok

Primarily directed to Gregtu, but others are welcome to chime in!


Fast forward a few years, and I'm starting to come around agian, though I'm not fully comfortable with it yet. I know He forgives me for turning away, but I'M having a hard time forgiving myself. I feel like such a hypocrite for flip-flopping. (the one thing I hate MOST in life is hypocricy as it was the root cause of most of my pain)

All this to say, that I now am starting to feel direction from God, but Ihave questions, and no one to ask. ( I STILL refuse to enter a church....it makes me physically ill.)

Because "your body is the temple of Holy Spirit, which is in you, which you have of God," and it is wholly unnecessary to seek god in an edifice when "The kingdom of god is within you. [See Genesis 2:7 and Luke 17:21]
Whatever problem, or disatress, may be imagined to be yours, is of your own making. You created any and every condition in and of your life and affairs in your thought processes; and "as a man thinks, so is he, ye reap." Entertain, or create, wrong, destructive, negative thoughts and you cannot reap anything but distress which must result. CONTROL your Every thought and you will create ONLY desirable causes and desirable effects and conditions, and so enjoy the fruits of your own creation.
The only people who attempt to tell you that you are subject to the wrath of a God are those who "have an axe to grind" in getting money from you. " 'I' and the father [God] are One," and since "One" means "Same," It follows that you have the Powers of a god enfolded within you, dormant, and only awaiting unfoldment in expression for your greater gain. Dispel all discord in your home life and affairs by controlling your thinking.
Withhold the hasty retaliatory comment; "return good for evil;" Expect the best. Cook love into every meal; be unselfish and try to consider your loved one before all else; IF you will, "great will be your reward in heaven." [in the Kingdom of God within you]
May you enjoy a pleasant Spring, and Summer Seasons where you are.

[ezrhythm]

Continue to pray to our Father in heaven. Ask him, "If it is your will, if she is the one, guide me, show me. In Jesus name."

I have known a certain woman for over 10 years. She has been in and out and back in my life throughout those years. I have prayed and asked the Lord for guidance and to show me if she is the one for me.

To this day, the Lord has continually showed me and inspired me that she is the one. He has done this in his very own way through amazing coincidences that are truly miracles, including her name happening to be mentioned in this thread of this topic though she doesn't participate on this forum.

I know far beyond ANY doubt, she is the one.

Peace, wisdom and assurance to you in Jesus' name!

[David Merrill]

Originally Posted by ezrhythm

Continue to pray to our Father in heaven. Ask him, "If it is your will, if she is the one, guide me, show me. In Jesus name."

I have known a certain woman for over 10 years. She has been in and out and back in my life throughout those years. I have prayed and asked the Lord for guidance and to show me if she is the one for me.

To this day, the Lord has continually showed me and inspired me that she is the one. He has done this in his very own way through amazing coincidences that are truly miracles, including her name happening to be mentioned in this thread of this topic though she doesn't participate on this forum.

I know far beyond ANY doubt, she is the one.

Peace, wisdom and assurance to you in Jesus' name!

Here we seem to have taken a turn into the Sacred Femanine. Not that I agree but I saw an article in this week's Jewish magazine AISH. http://www.aish.com/societyWork/wome...d_Feminine.asp There is quite a bit of substance to fulfilling the prophecies with a mutually feminine and masculine Messianic model. After all, it is some rather heavy editing by early New Covenant editors that would attempt to fashion a masculine Christ when he neither married or had children?

Maybe one would be behooved to inquire why the new king in Jerusalem would kill a fig tree? What prophecy was that in fulfillment of?



Regards,

David Merrill.

[Livefire]

Originally Posted by David Merrill

Maybe one would be behooved to inquire why the new king in Jerusalem would kill a fig tree? What prophecy was that in fulfillment of?

Answer....


Jer 24:1 The LORD showed me, and, behold, two baskets of figs were set before the temple of the LORD, after that Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon had carried away captive Jeconiah the son of Jehoiakim king of Judah, and the princes of Judah, with the carpenters and smiths, from Jerusalem, and had brought them to Babylon.
Jer 24:2 One basket had very good figs, even like the figs that are first ripe: and the other basket had very naughty figs, which could not be eaten, they were so bad.
Jer 24:3 Then said the LORD unto me, What seest thou, Jeremiah? And I said, Figs; the good figs, very good; and the evil, very evil, that cannot be eaten, they are so evil.
Jer 24:4 Again the word of the LORD came unto me, saying,
Jer 24:5 Thus saith the LORD, the God of Israel; Like these good figs, so will I acknowledge them that are carried away captive of Judah, whom I have sent out of this place into the land of the Chaldeans for their good.
Jer 24:6 For I will set mine eyes upon them for good, and I will bring them again to this land: and I will build them, and not pull them down; and I will plant them, and not pluck them up.
Jer 24:7 And I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God: for they shall return unto me with their whole heart.
Jer 24:8 And as the evil figs, which cannot be eaten, they are so evil; surely thus saith the LORD, So will I give Zedekiah the king of Judah, and his princes, and the residue of Jerusalem, that remain in this land, and them that dwell in the land of Egypt:
Jer 24:9 And I will deliver them to be removed into all the kingdoms of the earth for their hurt, to be a reproach and a proverb, a taunt and a curse, in all places whither I shall drive them.
Jer 24:10 And I will send the sword, the famine, and the pestilence, among them, till they be consumed from off the land that I gave unto them and to their fathers.

As they had before in the days of Nebuchadnezzar, so again was this disobedient nation being delivered over to the sword and famine for judgment....Meschiach was giving a prophetic demonstration of the wrath to come. The husbandman of creation has LONG patience for the havest, but rest assured He is not slack concerning His promise and will reap in due season and will render judgement unto every man according to his deeds. I will also add that all challenges to subject matter and in personam jurisdiction were cured at the cross!!! Something about the handwriting of ordinances that were contrary being NAILED TO IT!!!

Lyrics by Michael Card
THERE IS A JOY IN THE JOURNEY, THERE'S A LIGHT WE CAN LOVE ON THE WAY
THERE IS A WONDER AND WILDNESS TO LIFE, AND FREEDOM FOR THOSE WHO OBEY
TO BE SO COMPLETELY GUILTY, GIVEN OVER TO DESPAIR
TO LOOK INTO YOUR JUDGE'S FACE AND SEE A SAVIOR THERE


Phssthpok....

That man you mention was none other than Elijah. Interesting piece of scripture there in 1 Kings 19....One of Gods greatest prophets having a pity party in the cave. Remember the Almighty asked him , "What are you doing here!?" Perhaps all the thundering and shaking you have heard are your own doubts and fears and yet you hear a still small voice telling you something else....That still small voice had and still has far more power and authority than anything like that can ever have. All I can suggest is that you get up enuf nerve to ask the lady out to dinner and see how it goes. All she can say is no and then you move on, if that be the case. You have to make the first move dude, she isnt going to.....

[2tim215]

Originally Posted by Phssthpok

Therein lies my dilemma.

Seems like he's SCREAMING at me to proceed, yet I can't help but think that it's my own desires.

I'm thinking of (that story*) about (the guy*) who was told by god to hide himself in a cave untill He passed by. Thunder, wind, earthquakes, etc....then finally a slight whisper...and out he came.

The scream worries me.

*sorry...my Book is a little rusty..

Phssthpok,

Here's some scriptures for you to meditate on.
Rom 11:33(KJV) O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!
Rom 11:34(KJV) For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor?
Rom 11:35(KJV) Or who hath first given to him, and it shall be recompensed unto him again?
Rom 11:36(KJV) For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen.
You need to trust Him.
Phil 4:6(KJV) Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
The word “careful” here means to be anxious.
Phil 4:7(KJV) And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Prov 3:5(KJV) Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Prov 3:6(KJV) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Prov 3:7(KJV) Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

Luke 21:19(KJV) 19In your patience possess ye your souls.

Prov 4:5(KJV) Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.
Prov 4:6(KJV) Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee.
Prov 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Prov 4:8(KJV) Exalt her, and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honour, when thou dost embrace her.
Prov 4:9(KJV) She shall give to thine head an ornament of grace: a crown of glory shall she deliver to thee.
Prov 16:16(KJV) How much better is it to get wisdom than gold! and to get understanding rather to be chosen than silver!

How do you get all these things? Study the Word of God, that’s how. You do not need to go to church but you should (Hebrews 10:25) you should eventually start to get around other believers (the church is the most likely place to find them). The best thing you can do if you want a pure and a lasting relationship with this girl would be to be around true Bible believing Christians and I don’t mean those who would burden you or try to put some sort of a guilt trip on you. People who study the Bible (preferably King James although there may be those who don’t agree). The reason for this is that they will provide you (and your girlfriend) with the support system you need as well as good advice and wise counsel from a Biblical perspective. Go slowly (as far as a church is concerned).and remember that you are not obligated to go any where nor are you obligated to feed their coffers, unless God puts it on your heart to do so. If they appear too pushy or if they seem too money hungry, then go somewhere else. Also a pretty good way to tell where a church is at is how much they preach and teach the word. Try to find a Bible study somewhere that you can go and learn as well as ask questions. Watch out how they respond to your questions. Are they willing to answer all questions without belittling you or degrading you? If they are asked a question that they cannot answer, how do they respond? Do they at least try and answer and if they can’t, tell you they will get the answer to you later or do they just slough it off as being non-important or too difficult for you right now? These are some of the ways you can tell if a pastor and/or church is right for you and most importantly, trust in the Lord and the Holy Spirit will tell you when you go to the right place (just as He apparently told you about this girl).

Perhaps you might share with her your newfound interest in God and maybe she’d be interested in attending a Bible study with you somewhere and/or perhaps try out some churches together.

I’m really happy that you’ve changed you outlook on things somewhat as there are many professing Christian groups which pervert the Gospel and God’s Word and in some ways I think that this may cause more damage than non-believers at times. Always remember, what men do (no matter who or what they profess to believe in) it does not always reflect on God’s character, therefore if you really want to get to know God’s character, then you MUST study His Word for yourself and not rely on what other men say.
John 15:26(KJV) But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me:

John 16:13(KJV) Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will show you things to come.

Psa 34:8(KJV) O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.
Continue to trust in God and you will begin to encounter all the wonderful blessings He has in store for you.

May God richly bless you.

2tim215
2 Tim 2:15(KJV) Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

[Phssthpok]

Understand.... it's not that I'm axious about contacting her. I don't need to 'get up the nerve' to ask her out. We're still good friends, but we haven't had much contact since our shifts got split.

See, after her engagement she quit her job and moved away. This was about 3 or 4 years ago. Then the engagement fell through (I knew it would), she moved back to town, and got rehired, but on swing shift (about 2 years back). Her engagment devasteated me, as I said before, but after placing it in God's hands I concluded that it wasn't in His plan for us to be together, and I moved on, though I still think about her every day. Now she's on day shift, and "In-my-face" available, and I keep hearing this prompt to persue what failed before.

The screaming I'm talking about isn't worries and doubts (though I do have those), it's more like a third base coach screaming "Go FOR HOME!!....." and I'm concerned that it's my OWN desire screaming, and not what God wants. I'm not hearing 'that little voice' (at least not directly), but theres been too darn many coincidences leading up to this point for me not to wonder.

That's my confusion.

Is this 'drive' to persue her agin TRULY a direction from God (that seems to be in conflict with another of his directives), or is it that other cheezy bat-rastard in the firey nether-regions using my personal desires to trip me up?