Having fun with Lawyer's trying to collect debt

[jaylon]

Here is letter I wrote to a lawyer I was laughing the entire time I wrote it!! i never heard back from him either!
Feel free to use it!!

Dear [FREDERICK J. HANNA & ASSOCIATES, P.C.]

Thank you very much for your recent correspondence, I am very grateful for the chance to respond to your letter; however I must say that I am somewhat puzzled.

First and foremost, your above mentioned presentment is dishonored; jaylon reserves all of his rights under the uniform commercial code at UCC1-207. Also since you sending a demand for payment, and have assumed the title of debt collector as well, fill out the attached Disclosure Statement, and if it is not completed and return please be advised that legal action will be taken against your firm for sending unsubstantiated demands for collection of a debt.

Second, (Getting back to your client)

1. Your client, [SHERMAN ACQUISITION L.P.], was given (30) days to prove that I owe them a lawful debt.
2. Your client failed to provide a bona fide contract with my wet ink signature appended.
3. Your client failed to provide requisite verification of the alleged debt as required by the FDCPA.
4. Your client failed to provide the information which was requested in my correspondence dated February 22, 2005 (enclosed) to re-verify the alleged debt pursuant to the Fair Credit Reporting Act which constitutes reason to promptly delete this alleged inaccurate debt.
5. Your client did not include all parties when this novation was executed.
6. Your client did not make the alleged debtor/jaylon aware that the debt/contract/promissory note which was purchased was a negotiable credit instrument under the uniform commercial code.
7. Neither your client nor the original creditor has a charter which allows them to lawfully lend credit.
8. Your client did not provide a service or product to the alleged debtor.
9. As of the date of this letter your client has (6) days remaining to verify that a lawful debt exist.
10. If your client fails to verify a lawful debt exists, legal action will be taken for injuries incurred.

As you can see I was somewhat puzzled by your clients failure to respond to my correspondence, but their eagerness in sending unsubstantiated demands for payment through the United States mail which I might add constitutes mail fraud under federal and state law.

If your client can go so far as to send demands for payment, than the most they could do is at least provide proof of why they feel the alleged debt is valid. Even if your client can not lawfully provide proof, at least an attempt, ‘We feel this alleged debt is valid because of.. .. such and such” or “ In our opinion this alleged debt is valid because of.. .. thus and so.”

This letter is to notify you and your office, which includes: [Frederick J. Hanna, Elizabeth C. Whealler, Roy D. Reagin Jr., Dennis E. Henry, John P. Farrell, and James T. Freaney] in writing, and well within (30) days, that this alleged debt is being disputed, is not valid, and will be promptly removed once the (30) days are ended. I am exercising my rights as a consumer, I am not threatened by your scare tactics, and I will be more than happy to appear in a court of competent jurisdiction. If you or your client is not willing to do what you are required by law, I will not hesitate to contact the Federal Trade Commission, My State Attorney General, or the National Better Business Bureau. If you client does not cooperate, [SHERMAN ACQUISITION] will be sued for deformation of character by publicly issuing false statement to the credit reporting agencies without valid proof and malicious intent.

It would be in your best interest to inform your client to take the necessary steps to insure this alleged debt is tended to promptly and properly, the records are updated and information deleted with all credit reporting agencies, and all collection efforts are ceased. If your client does not act in accord as required by law, your clients claim will not be considered and your client may be liable for damages for any continued collection efforts as well as any other injury sustained.

Your client’s failure both intentionally and otherwise to provide requisite verification validating the hereinabove-referenced alleged debt, constitutes your client’s tacit agreement that your client has no verifiable, lawful, bona fide claim regarding the hereinabove-referenced alleged account, and that your client tacitly agrees that your client waives all claims against alleged debtor and indemnifies and holds alleged debtor harmless against any and all costs and fees heretofore and hereafter incurred and related regarding any and all collection attempts involving the hereinabove-referenced alleged account.

You and you client are now on notice, govern yourselves accordingly.


Thank you very much. I do look forward to your prompt response. Until then it is my pleasure to be…




_____________________________________________
jaylon/Agent in fact for JAYLON


Enclosures: Attorney’s Original Correspondence dated 3/9/05, copy of letter sent to alleged creditor dated 2/22/05, alleged creditor’s unsubstantiated demand for payment dated 2/14/04, copy of certified mail receipt, copy of return receipt with signature by agent of alleged creditor, disclosure statement to be completed by Frederick J. Hanna, P.C.